Here I am sitting on one of those brown-colored lounging chairs in a library somewhere in a university, staring way too long at the beige-colored rack which is obviously filled with books and totally ignoring other students passing near my spot. I am too lazy to get a book and too tired to stand up so I contented myself sitting on the plush chair with my chin resting on the knuckles of my hand.
Contemplating on the new environment I have to face, YOU suddenly popped into my mind out of nowhere. With my bags huddled beside me, I remembered YOU, YOU and your pair of brown eyes donned with reading eyeglasses. I remembered how we first met, our first conversation and our friendship. And just the thought of you made me lose myself in a daydream.
I remember those times where we used to share a laugh on something we find funny, those times where we tease each other and I, ending up getting riled and that time when I realized that I like you not as a friend and not as a special someone but something in between. At that time, I didn’t know what hit me and when I did, it came through me like a cannonball smacking squarely on my face. You suddenly filled up the corners of my mind taking up too much space making me incapable to focus on something vital and ending up spacing out by just the thought of you. How I wish I realized it sooner that I like you before we parted ways and right now my memories of you served as a fuel to the fire. I didn’t even know since when you’ve wormed into my heart, shaking my heart, uncovering things that are buried in my heart, just like it’s out of order. I sound like a lovesick fool right now and right then and there I realized I’m falling into the category of women who recognized the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” which is absolutely true. I may have hinted you on my feelings for you just to let you know on how I feel and just to remove the anxiety to see you again. I keep on counting the days and months on when you will comeback so that I can see you again because I already miss you more than you can possibly think of.
But then, the saddest realization would be, you, treating me as your sister. Here I am missing you like I’m going crazy and you out there somewhere in another university without any traces of thoughts for me. I suddenly realized I was like building castles on sand instead on a loam-surface adequate for realities. I picked up my bags and left the library with a sigh and a heavy heart.