Keeping Company with Myself

 

I was quite wandering around the campus when I suddenly felt the urge to sit down. It was one hell of a hot day and the pure evidence of it is the sweat trickling down my spine and the precipitate of sweat forming on my upper lip. I caught sight of a drinking fountain and drank from it and since I got so tired of roaming around the campus, I decided to rest and the perfect spot would be on the stone benches under the shade of trees surrounding it. I crossed the quadrangle and when I reached the spot, I sighed with relief.

I put my sling bag on the rounded stone table along with my books while feeling contented of the cool wind swirling around taking the heat down and sending wisps of my hair flying around which I gently tuck behind my ear.  I looked around and watched the students around me. Some are buying food from that overpricing canteen, some are hurriedly walking across the quadrangle to their own points of destination and others are just like me; lazily sitting on the stone benches nearby. It is still my break time, since I have four hours of it, wherein I spent an hour already of it by roaming around the campus and I’m intending to spend the remaining three hours of it by just sitting around here to wait for my next class. And as I continue to stare at people, I suddenly felt so lonely sitting all alone.

Before, I had a bunch of friends, and the memory of spending all my free time with them feels like acid on my stomach. It was always a happy experience for all of us before a fight tore us up to pieces. Everyone began jumping on to which side they’ll go and before we knew it, our friendship shattered.

And as I look back on it, I can’t help but sigh with regret over the friendship that was terribly wasted. If only I could turn back time and undo all the things I have done but there is always a nagging voice inside my head saying, “Too bad, your friend is a little bit insensitive”. I am not blaming this to her but I already got tired of putting up with my patience whenever she ‘unconsciously’ wrongs me. I know I’m not a patient person and my temper is as volatile as a gasoline but I’m sure that I already tried my hardest to tame the dragon within me until that one event where I exploded and I knew I couldn’t take it anymore.

I snapped out of my reverie and let my eyes wander again and it was then that I realized, being alone doesn’t always mean about being lonely and eating yourself out but it also means spending some time on yourself to become a rather independent and dependable person. I sighed heavily and stood up, picked up my bag and books and went to my next class.

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